My Life as Her Good Girl by Calliope St. James

Author:Calliope St. James [James, Calliope St.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: One Bad Day Productions
Published: 2018-07-31T04:00:00+00:00

"Everybody dies, Chrissy."

"Not you, Nana!"

"Yes, even Nanas die, baby."

"But who's gonna read to me if you die?"

"Well I'm not going to die for a very long time, but when I do, I'll bring Winnie the Pooh and Thumbelina with me to heaven, how does that sound?"

"And Frog and Toad, Nana!"

"And Frog and Toad, baby."

"Don't forget them, Nana, they are my favorite."

Once everything at the hospital was squared away, my dad asked my mom if they should let the girls, meaning Shell and me, see Nana one last time. My tears were back with my internal memories and when Shellie said she wanted to see her I kind of exploded just a little bit. To be fair, no one said to not make a scene, and I was angry and upset, so I pointed it at my cousin. "How can you want to see her like that??"

My dad tried to put his arm around me, most likely more to calm me down than to comfort me and I pushed him off. "No!" I looked at my cousin and seethed, "I don't want my final memories of her to be here, on a fucking slab!"

In my defense, I was tail spinning and had zero control over my mouth.

My mom piped up when my cousin's dark eyes started to tear up again and scolded me, "Christine Elizabeth! That's enough!"

Her scolding just made me turn my anger onto her, "And you! Why didn't you call me two fucking days ago?! I have a god damn cell phone!"

"I didn't want to upset you..." She shook her head knowing full well it was a shit defense.

"Well that worked out brilliantly, didn't it!? No one here is upset! No one is ever fucking upset!!"

My dad tried again to comfort me, and when I pushed him off the second time, he took my wrist in his hand and snapped me to attention and said in his no-nonsense dad voice, "Go outside." I ripped my arm from his grasp and spat out, "Fine!" I went out in front of the dimly lit entrance to the emergency room.

Yeah, I was angry, but only because I was upset. This was a very typical "mom" thing for my mother to do. She is so afraid of upsetting people she lies or half-truths and tries to ease people into whatever horrible shit she needs to dump on them. It's great for a grieving family who just lost their loved one in her nursing home, it is complete shit to do to her daughter. Regularly.

I paced outside and cooled off. My anger melted away, and I felt the tears and my sorrow, start to come back. How is this even possible? Who fucking dies from a fall off a stool??

It was a chilly night for June, and I had on my hang out with Matt outfit on which was just a tee shirt and a pair of cut off sleep shorts. Honestly, everything after 'Nana's in the hospital' was a blur, I didn't even know what I had in my backpack.

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